Missy Jubilee. 059. A Fucking Music Video

Missy Jubilee. 059. A Fucking Music Video

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Project diary entry: 17th February

Dear Diary,

This film is about a fight through a vast emptiness

It captures a period in time of this project

The present

It started as a remix as therapy

Then it became a mixtape

Then became a poem
Then became a cry for help
Then became a film
that was
a sneaky way around
debilitating writers block
that was being caused by
environmental factors
(excluding global warming)

So diary, I shall now summarise
the salient points for you – because I’m good like that

Executive summary: Stuck in the swamp of insecurity

Situation: 20 films in production, but I can’t finish them

Analysis: Paralysed by completion anxiety dressed as self doubt

I seem to have hit that toxic
radioactive core
of what I have been seeking to understand

Self-sabotage

It has paralysed me

Creatively,
sexually,
spiritually,
emotionally
& personally

But I am happy

Empty but happy

Quite an odd juxaposition

Is this what it feels like when you empty out all the bad shit, but haven’t yet replaced the empty hole with good stuff, so you don’t know who the fuck you are

So what I’m thinking is
I’ll turn the
emptiness
into a concept for a film
and I’ll remix the bejeezus out
of some poor unsuspecting music
that I like

And since I’m not in the headspace to appear in any of my films at the moment, I’ll create some soft porn visual muzak so the audience doesn’t
have to suffer during the navel gazing

And then

I’ll write my way
through it
around it
over it
away from it
by isolating the thoughts
that are toxic to my thinking

Not a full story

Just thought vignettes from this moment in time

And a film will be released

And then maybe I will want to have sex again

So with this film
I seek to step around
the dark mass
blocking my
forward progress
by shining a light
on my misfiring
thought processes

I seek to take on
the emptiness

and simply transform it
into resolve

These are the thoughts
behind the film

They needed to come out of me

And I needed to read them

At a distance

They have now
been bundled up in this film

And I am now free
of them

I think that’s how this works

Swipe right for serendipity

www.missyjubilee.com

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Categories: Sex

One Comment on “Missy Jubilee. 059. A Fucking Music Video”

  1. April 6, 2016 at 4:15 pm #

    How can stop loving you, Missy??

Talk to me baby

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