Missy Jubilee. 057. Mutant Santa FULL SCRIPT

Missy Jubilee. 57. Mutant Santa. LOW RES

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This film is a Christmas card to my father
In the form of an allegory about why Santa Quit his Job
And didn’t come to my place in 2015

Missy Jubilee As Mutant Santa

Missy Jubilee’s Father as Jesus

After 30 years in the family business
Santa was having an existential crisis

Every Christmas eve, he would leave his fulltime job
As a stand-in character actor in horror movies
And go to his part time job as a glorified fedex delievery
Where he had a contract to supply services one night a year

Was this all he was?

He definitely knew who he wasn’t

He wasn’t batman, or superman or underwater man
Or any other marvel superhero

He had no superpowers
And he keep getting lumped in with
The Easter bunny & the toothfairy in discussions

And he certainly had
No approval from the C.I.A to blow up shit
Whereever he wanted

It was just at this moment
That the NSA via NORAD
Intercepted a call between
Santa and his father

It turned out
His father was Jesus Christ
And this phone call confirmed
What the CIA had thought
Since 1981

Jesus: Santa?


Jesus: Stop being a dick with this superhero shit
You’re robbing me of my glory
It’s Christmas, not Santamas
Everyone is supposed to be
Celebrating Christ’s Birthday

Santa: Sorry DAD

Jesus: Don’t call me DAD
I am the great healer to you

Santa: Really?

Jesus: Really
Just remember your place
You’re a fictitious character

Santa: But DAD…Great healer
I want to something more than that
I want to be three dimensional

Like a transformer

You’ll be what I tell you to be
Your Job is to help glorify me
At Christmas
It’s my birthday. It’s not yours
You don’t even have a birthday

So enough of your bullshit
Are we clear?

Santa: Yes DAD…Great healer

It was at precisely that moment
That all Santa’s emotion shattered

His whole life had been about
Glorifying his father
And that’s all it ever would be

He would never get
What he wanted for christmas

And then some kid called him a name
That was very bad for his self control
Very bad

He spiralled inward & Downward. Losing all sense of himself
And Jesus refused to discuss his son’s fall from grace

Santa was jailed in a mental prison of his own making for
many years
He would scream ever day demanding to be released from his torment
But when he could scream no more
He realised he didn’t need anyone to let him out
It was his mental prison
He could let himself out of he created the pictures in his

Even though he was damaged by the whole experience
He would finally get the Christmas present he always wanted

A great desk job at the CIA doing subversive shot all day

Day One: CIA Training

In 2016
We wish you
And peace of mind


“Kindness is more important than wisdom and the recognition
of this is the beginning of wisdom”
– Theodore Isaac Rubin

Beyond Script:

I’m thankful for all that is good in my life
All that has got me here

I hope to navigate whatever time I have left
With Dignity, not false pride

To be creative & original
Without the desire to be acknowleged or clapped at
With what the universe has given me

My dream is to wrire poems
About finding happiness & Mutant Santas
In the Darkest Corners
Of the Crack house Couch
That is my mind

Poetry is a dirty business
But who Am I to Judge

After five years of engagement from my parents.
Two weeks before Christmas 2015, I asked them
If we could meet for an hour and enjoy each other company
And mend some wounds from the past

They gave me the followings reasons
Why they wouldn’t be willing to do this

1. It wasn’t worth the investment of their time
2. They believe max is a bad infleunce on me
3. They couldn’t be guaranteed that it wouldn’t be

They rationale was communicated through my mother
But they were my father’s reason

I put them in my little suitcase of horros from my

A letter to my Father:

-An act of bidding farewell


I can only give reasons why we should
Invest an hour of our time at Christmas
In the hope that some
Healing & Understanding
Can grasp hold of this
Nettlesome thing called
Our relationship

Do it because I’m happy
Do it because I’m sad
Do it because I’m your daughter
Do it because the sun rose
Do it because the sun will set

But you got all your reasons
For waiting to make me feel like shit

I know the deal
Because nothing squeals
Like a set of square wheels

I fear that you see me as such a bad person
That I’m toxic
That I’m the one that nobody should love
Lest they be overcome by my cloud

To give you credit
You don’t pull no punches
When it’s time to deliver
An emotional beating

You deliver it like a man


Putting your world together
Without your daughter in it

Picking up my pieces

Show me your worst side
You don’t scare me for Fucks sake

How could you
You are there
You’re not here
You haven’t been for a long time

I love you
And Hate you

I wrote that
It’s what I see

Merry Christmas Dad



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