Diary of a violent, time traveling, space cadet

Diary of a violent, time traveling, space cadet
Subtitle: Courts are for judgment. Not poets

interosculate/verb – to form a connecting link

Earth interosculating with Missy
This is Houston Mission Control
What’s your attitude Missy?

My attitude
Is I am searching for a way
To forget Houston
To forget my dubious gangster credentials
Ugly things are frightened of light
So I keep setting fire to myself in the cabin
I’m a pyromaniac at heart

Focus on the mission Missy
This is not a bad movie
Not a one great either

Very witty Houston
I think I’m having a melt down though
Sometimes, no most of the time
I can’t tell if this is all just a hallucination
Like the final moments of my life
As my neural net is shutting down

You speak in riddles Missy
What are you melting down about?

Apologies Houston
Unintentional riddling
Up against the wall of logic here
While possibly becoming a justice system statistic
Melting down about possibly
Going to prison because of that assault charge
I can’t get away from it Houston
Even up here
Damn thing has been haunting me for 3 months

Prepare for re-entry to Earth Missy
It’s the blue, green and white thing
Focus. And try not to miss

Ain’t feeling it Houston
Sad fact but it ain’t a lie
All that mayhem makes me want to do another lap

For fucks sake Missy
Set your sights on something you love
You have to love something

You’re right Houston
I love the music
I love the films
I love Max

How you feeling Missy?

Straight up Houston
Been lost in the Sea of Quietude
Experiencing watery eyes
And very angry at myself
I’m experiencing a range of emotional options

Option A – Overwhelmed by Options
Option B – Every Option is Overwhelming
Option C – Option A and Option B
Option D – I think I just forgot how to breathe
Is option D symptomatic of being overwhelmed?

Well Missy
You are a member of the house that whack built
But I have some news on those charges

Reception interference
Cogitation experienced
Fear levels reach extreme

(Obviously buying time, fearing bad news)
Can we stop with this ‘over’ thing
After each transmission Houston?

Permission granted Missy
As I was saying
The Star Chamber met
It was all poets, drug dealers and lawyers there today
But good news
No conviction. No record. One year bond
Don’t fuck up again and you’ll be okay


Houston here
Oh, sorry

I’m here Houston
Going through the Galaxy of Relief
Looking through the rainbow
A good reminder
That nature has a beautiful side

You want to know why
You got a good result Missy?

Enlighten me Houston

Well Missy
You know that person who lost their front teeth?

That would be Max. He’s my husband Houston

Well Missy
While you were burning in your personal hell
He was showing up in court
Explaining it was all an accident
That the people who called the Police
Shouldn’t have called the Police
That he never wanted charges laid
That you were a good person
Who had her faults
But that he had seen amazing changes
In you over the last 3 months
And that you and he were stepping back
And changing
The angle of the descent in your relationship
Less stress
More communication in tough times

I owe a lot to Max
He’s a very good man Houston
And I love him very much

Missy, I have a message from Max
Do you want to hear it?

I think so Houston

Well he’s right here Missy. I’ll put him on

Roger Houston

Hi Missy, it’s Max

I’m so sorry Max
I’m so sorry
That my temper led to this
That my upset fell out
As it was felt

I know you are Missy
I’ve always known you were
Houston is saying hurry up
So I’ll keep it short
It’s simple
There’s no Clyde
Without Bonnie
And there’s no Max
Without Missy
All kinds of dirty little things
Happen in the human jigsaw room
That is life
Long story short
Shit happens
But true love
That happens once in a lifetime
For me, you are it
A couple of teeth
Isn’t going to change that
Besides, they were fixed the same day
The wonders of modern dentistry

I thought maybe it was the last straw Max

No Missy
I got a drawer full of last straws
So no fear of running out

How do your new teeth look Max?

I can’t tell the difference Missy
Husband loses front teeth to rampaging wife
Is not your usual bedtime story
As Freddie Mercury said
The more mishaps I have in my life
The more interesting
My life seems

You know I love Freddie Mercury don’t you Max?

I know you do Missy
And boy, did he have some front teeth

I love you Max
Thank you for all your support
I know it’s been hard

Piece of cake Missy
My middle name is Stoic
Well, not really,
But you know what I mean
Besides, I’m comfortable
With the concept of violence
It’s a dumb manly thing
I think I’d have to loose an arm
Before I quit us
And even then…
Probably not

No threat of that Max
I choose to be
A peaceful warrior now
It’s all blinders
And riding crops from this point on
Change is coming
And I will be a vibrant component
A shiny gear
Driving our wheel of fortune
But now,
I need to sleep
Time to get off this ledge
It’s dangerous out here
And these space pidgeons
Are really annoying

I love you Missy
Travel safe
Get back to Earth
And make some films


Transmission breaks up & ends

Three hours after court makes judgment

Re-entry is achieved

Yours, while considering that there are idea trees falling in a thought forest in outer space that no one hears apart from someone who isn’t me. Note to self, must get out to space forest more often, but take a safety helmet. And maybe a child-safe chainsaw. Firewood is expensive these days


This has been a short chapter from Missy Jubilee’s ‘Vagina’. My Life from the Inside Out

It contains fancy-schmancy odes about my life & abnormal existence within normal society, at a speed of 80,000 words a year

Disclaimer: These sentences were constructed by a button pushing monkey in the Missyverse Highfaluting Word Factory located in Outer-La La Land

Extra verbage contributed by factory interns Edge/USA & 4AM/USA, who were also sentenced to hard labour by polite society for being different as fuck and/or punk-ass muthafuckas

Probably the latter

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Categories: Sex

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