‘This is really embarrassing but…’ The quirky sex questions everyone’s too shy to ask

Shying away from asking those quirky sex questions? Tracey says you're not alone

Some sex secrets are standard ‘water cooler’ material (‘I’d do Chris Hemsworth in a heartbeat’). Others get spilt, along with the red wine, over dinner with good friends (‘I miss what I did with my ex’).

There’s a couple we might tentatively whisper in the ear of a chosen few (‘Do you ever, you know, feel a bit numb down there?’).

And then there are those we don’t share with anyone because they’re, well, too personal and embarrassing.

Which is why I’ve chosen to answer a selection of the most common and quirky queries to plop into my inbox….

Can you get pregnant from oral sex?

No. Sperm are clever little b@ggers and can wriggle their way past all sorts of obstacles but they haven’t quite figured out how to dodge major organs like hearts and lungs and stuff to get to the bit where they can fertilise an egg. 

If he wakes up with an erection, has he been dreaming of sex?

No. Most men have between 4-5 erections a night as a result of their sleep cycle. They may also have a biological purpose by ensuring the penis is regularly pumped full of oxygenated blood! Women also get ‘erections’ during the night: though because the clitoris is tiny, no-one notices!

During intercourse, his testicles disappear! Should I be worried?

It can be a bit alarming the first time you notice but nothing dodgy is happening. The testicles retract into the body because muscles in the area pull the scrotum toward it during sex. It’s all to do with good old Mother Nature trying to keep things at the right temperature. She’s also being protective and keeping them out the way of possible knocks during a particularly enthusiastic sex session. 

What happens if I lose a condom inside me?

The good news is it won’t get lost or move upwards (so those fears of coughing it up in front of your partner’s Mum are well…silly).

To remove it, squat down, reach in with a finger and feel around inside. If you can’t find it, your doctor can. And you might need a visit anyway because the semen disappeared up there along with the condom. You could get pregnant or contract an STI.

Will too much sex make me too loose?

Quite the opposite – not enough sex can! Our vagina’s are more a case of ‘use it or lose it’ (muscle tone that is). Popping out babies and age cause our pelvic floor muscles to loosen and atrophy. Regular sex helps tone them to keep your vagina tighter.

Some of the most common sex questions Tracey is asked include seemingly basic issues such as 'can I get pregnant from oral sex'?

Health-wise, it’s not bad for you since semen is mostly water and mucus. There are traces of citric acid, salt, chloride, ammonia, absorbic acid, calcium, carbon dioxide and cholesterol (sperm are a mere 1% of ejaculate).

The only problem though is rather a large one – if he carries a sexually transmitted disease, you may get it. Take your pick from the list of diseases that can be passed on this way (gonorrhoea, chlamydia, hepatitis B, the HIV virus).

In fact, just touching your his penis with your mouth puts you at risk of contracting herpes, syphilis or human papilloma virus (genital warts) if they’re present. There is some good news though – it’s not fattening! There’s a mere five calories in the average ejaculation.

You know the thing about ‘Is it in yet?’. Well sometimes I really feel like asking that question. I can feel him penetrate but that’s about it!

I don’t think anyone will deny (men or women) that the first thrust is the best because that is when you feel it the most.

The vagina becomes balloon shaped once you’re aroused, meaning it’s smaller and tighter at the entrance than it is deeper inside. Once thrusting continues, you also become desensitised to the sensation as your pelvic floor muscles tire and stop clenching his penis.

Fix it by experimenting with different positions which alter the angle and put two firm pillows under your bottom while he’s on top. 

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