No Sex Tonight Means Sex Tonight

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Reader Arbiter recounts,

Off topic: yesterday I stayed at a girl’s place, someone I had been seeing every now and then earlier this year, but hadn’t seen now for several months. So this was a restart of the booty calling.

So, while we were sitting in the couch watching Britain’s Got Talent videos on her laptop, and doing some other stuff, she told me “No sex this first time, okay?”
“Okay,” I said, naturally with no intention of sticking to that. But she got to do her no-slut thing. Then it wasn’t her fault when I went for it in bed later.

The thing is, I was actually thinking of CH wisdom about how “When a girl says ‘no sex tonight’ on a date, she is thinking of having sex with you.” I would have done the same thing anyway, but it was a reminder that you’re not out in deep water if you’re going for it in that situation.

For those who say that “this is all theory, you can’t think of it all in real life”, it’s like driving a car: You make the theory part of your own style. You practice and practice until following the theory in practice comes natural and requires little thought.

Yes, a girl who warns you, in so many words, “no sex tonight” at any time during a date (or quasi-date) is far more likely to have sex with you that night than a girl who doesn’t say anything about sex while on a date with her. Once desire is inflamed in a woman, a precious egg-protection mental protocol initiates a sequence of courtship flanking maneuvers that obstruct any clean pathways to her egg, including self-sabotage pathways. A woman prefers not to make it easy for womb raiders, or for herself. One of many sleights of white matter hamster she will perform to satisfy her self-perception (some of it grounded in biological reality) of high sexual worth is the preemptive rebuke. If she has announced her modesty, then anything she might do later would be a clear violation of her modesty boundaries, and thus not her fault.

Women only speak in these riddles when motivated by unmistakably hot feelings. A woman will never utter the cautionary phrase “no sex tonight” unless thoughts of sex tonight had already set up camp in her electric ham.

If you ever hear this from a girl you’re dating, the correct response is “OK”, followed by unspoken dismissal of her pretend boundaries. She wants reassurance before she releases herself to you. What she doesn’t want is you to take her words to heart and retreat from the fight.

Heartiste

Categories: Sex

One Comment on “No Sex Tonight Means Sex Tonight”

  1. October 16, 2014 at 9:19 am #

    Hmmnn. So, how does one differentiate the statements mentioned here, and the old adage “No means No”? I would think once “No” was said, the possibility is off the table.

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