Full Script. Episode 40. Fear

1.-Missy-Jubilee.-040.-Fear.-05

 

Watch film

Fear

Monsters don’t sleep under my bed

They live in my head

So people say

I’m Missy Jubilee. And this is me at work. It’s very meta I know

I’m a film maker, artist, experimental writer & sound sculptor

As a film maker, my subject is sexuality & the origins of desire

As artists, my husband & I are married to a 12 yr 250 film project

To document and un-ravel my secret sexual persona

From the age of four to 32 years old as a conceptual art piece

I’m pretty much naked in every film so far except this one

Art naked. Not porn naked. There’s a difference google

Naked as a metaphor for un-self-shamed female sexuality

Before starting in the film industry I wore clothes. True story

I was a DJ & remix producer. This was my music. This was my thing

But now I just do it for me. And the films I make. Like this one

You might have noticed I’m quite animated when I mix

That’s because I have no fear of the consequences

I think everyone would do crazy stuff if they didn’t…

Fear consequences

I have no fear of consequences when I create soundscapes

Because I feel music. Deep down. Somewhere. It’s cathartic

But with the Future Sex Love Art Projekt

So far out on the edge of experimental art film making

Consequences are all I think about when I’m not doing music

The consequences of this project have been personal to date

I may have lost my parents completely. Not to be dramatic

I am estranged from 95% of my friends. It is what it is

My best friend of 30 years said she couldn’t be a friend anymore

Positives are, I wouldn’t be doing anything else in the world

Our films are studied in Universities, art & film schools

Our films are also studied by psychiatrists. I think that’s positive

The consequences are what they are. I knew them going in

In truth, the only consequence I fear

Is not completing the 250 films. Every one as honest as hell

Because my life finally has a purpose. Granted. A weird purpose

7 yrs pre-production. 5 yrs filming. 12 yrs of my life. 2 reasons

  1. Un-fuck my head 2. Let all the pretty monsters out

I need to understand who I am and what caused the way i think

And why I carry so much sexual shame around with me

‘Whatever begins in anger, ends in shame’ -Benjamin Franklin

This is what I have to do before I die. Can’t go backwards. I’m all in

Because everything I need is on the other side of fear

Note to self:

I don’t think I’ve done 250 of anything in my life

Except the obvious

 

The Sex Violence Whatever Remixxx of Phil Collin’s In The Air Tonight

I was born in 1981 in Australia. I am 33 years old

In 1983, the film Risky Business was released

It would be tom cruise’s first major Hollywood role

The New York Times said it was

‘Part satire, part suburban poetry, part shameless showing off

Many would call it the best film of 1983

I saw this film when I was 8. I don’t remember where or how

The desperate untidy depiction of sexuality & desire

The cinematography. The troglodytic lights & exogenic sounds

This scene is why music in films is important to me

That scene made me want to make films. So I could fix me

Hurt people hurt people. Pain patterns get passed on

I want to break that pattern in my family. And in my life

With the only 3 weapons available to me.

Film. Music. Honesty

 

END

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Categories: Sex

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