Requiem 31.1 Full script

1. Missy Jubilee.031.1. Requiem. NSFW

Requiem 31.1 Full script. Click here to watch film

Transcription with thanks by Bernie Glynn

 

“Everything in the world is about sex

Except sex

Sex is about power” – Oscar Wilde

Make art. Make love. Make do

Excuse the mess in my mind. I’m renovating some memories

Now I’ve got to figure out if I can continue

“You’re beautiful,

But you’re empty.

No one would die for you.”

Antoine de Saint Exupéry – The Little Prince,

Episode 31 of 250

The Axis of Sexual Angst

END INTRO

Max: Where are we at 31 films in? Bigger picture

Missy: To answer that I would have to go back a step

Max: Okay. But make it concise. It’s a short song

Missy: I have been hamstrung all my life

By three weapons of mass discombobulation

Shame. Fear & self-loathing

Max: Nice geo-political tie-in

Missy: Thank you. But stop interrupting.

Anyways. The first 30 films were exposition

To tell you a little about myself. To tell you what’s my thing

My history. Parents. Head problems. Addictions. Issues

It was background so you could understand the next part of the projekt

Who did what to whom. When. How. With what

I feel I have dealt with the shame by completing 30 films

Next comes dealing with the intense fear

Max: Fear of what?

Missy: Fear of failing. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of the fear.

The emotional exhaustion driving me back into depression

That’s what I thought it was about. But it’s not

Max: How so?

Missy: it’s about the fear of who I am without shame

I could be a ghost. I don’t want to exist as a ghost

I have learnt this shit over 28 years. I might unlearn it in 250 films

But what fills the vacuum in between? I’m fear that. A lot

It’s never good stuff that fills a vacuum. Look at Iraq

Every film is sucking a little bit of bad stuff out of my soul

But it’s also the only me I know

It feels like I’m dying

Very very slowly

Max: Be all in or get all out. There is no half way

Missy: What do you mean there is no halfway. Do you live in a vacuum?

Max: no. I live with you. In a house

Missy: It was a rhetorical question

Max: I know

“Peace is always beautiful.” Walt Whitman

Part 2

Techno Viking & Happy Happy Joy Joy

The greatest poet of the 20th century and my greatest literary influence, Charles Bukowski, reading his poem ‘bluebird’ in 1978

“There’s a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out
but I’m too tough for him,
I say, stay in there, I’m not going to let anybody see you.
There’s a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out
but I pour whiskey on him and inhale cigarette smoke
and the whores and the bartenders and the grocery clerks never know that he’s in there.

There’s a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out but I’m too tough for him,
I say, stay down, do you want to mess me up?
You want to screw up the works?
You want to blow my book sales in Europe?
There’s a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out but I’m too clever, I only let him out at night sometimes when everybody’s asleep.
I say, I know that you’re there, so don’t be sad.
Then I put him back, but he’s singing a little in there, I haven’t quite let him die. And we sleep together like that with our secret pact.
And it’s nice enough to make a man weep, but I don’t weep, do you?

Yes

All the time

 

Techno Viking

What do we have here?

It looks like a good old fashioned dance-off

Missy vs the Techno Viking

Ready Viking?

Wait for it missy

{dance off}

Time’s up Missy

I think you won that Techno Viking. You’re still the best

Thanks Missy. It’s all about the shorts you know

I know Viking. I gotta get me some of those. I used to have a little red dress

Welcome to my mind

There’s dance-offs going on all the time

I’ll never change. I’ll just learn

“When things go bad, don’t go with them.” – Elvis Presley

You are what you listen to.

 

Bluebird

From the age of 4 until he was 12 years old Charles Bukowski was severely beaten by his father three times a week. Although he despised his father, in later life he said ‘My father taught me the most important thing I learnt in life. He taught me about pain. It enabled me to be a writer.’

In his writing, he referred to the bathroom in his childhood as ‘The torture chamber’

His work addressed the ordinary lives of poor Americans, the act of writing, alcohol, relationships with women & the drudgery of work. He worked in a post office for 15 years.

Bukowski wrote thousands of poems, hundreds of short stories, and six novels, eventually publishing over sixty books.

In 1986 time called Bukowski the laureate of American lowlife.

Henry Charles Bukowski

Died in 1994 of leukaemia aged 73

Novelist

Poet

Short story writer

Columnist

Child abuse survivor

Chronic alcoholic

Charles Bukowski is one of my inspirations for this projekt

I stand on the shoulders of an alcoholic giant

 You’re not ugly. Society is

 Charles Bukowski’s gravestone reads “Don’t Try”.  A phrase which Bukowski uses in one of his poems advising aspiring writers & poets about inspiration and creativity. Bukowski explained the phrase in a 1963 letter. “Somebody asked me ‘what do you do? How do you write, create?’  I told them, “You don’t. You don’t try. That’s very important. Not to try, either for Cadillacs, creation or immortality. You wait, and if nothing happens, you wait some more. It’s like a bug high on a wall. You wait for it to come to you. When it gets close enough you reach out, slap it and kill it if you like, you make a pet out of it.”

I see that bug and it’s coming toward me. I shall name him Charles.

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.” – Yoda

If you find the truth, will you believe it?

A very good question

My life is not an action movie. I couldn’t afford Michael Bay. Happy Happy Joy Joy

Did you notice how many references to death there were in the music in this film? I didn’t until I finished it. I wonder what my sub-conscious is saying, because it wasn’t planned and for me, music is a tunnel into my inner consciousness. Is contemplating the concept of death the easy way out of dealing with fear for me? I have no idea, but it freaks me the fuck out. Sometimes I am afraid to be alone with my thoughts. Not to be a drama queen or anything.

This film is dedicated to Edward Snowden. A true American hero. Someone who said “fuck the fear, and the consequences be damned”. You sir are one kick arse individual to put your life on the line for freedom. Not the George Bush version of freedom. Real freedom. Freedom from tyranny.

Courage is mad sexy

Tyranny (noun): Oppressive government rule unrestrained by law or constitution.

Plato defended a tyranny as a government who looks to its own advantage rather than that of its subjects.

I have an order here for porn with geo-political overtones. Who ordered that? Hello? People? Anybody? Somebody? Nobody huh. Guess I’ll have to eat it – again

It’s erotica not porn. It’s the difference between using a feather and using a chicken

“I couldn’t possibly have sex with someone with a slender grasp of grammar” – Russell Brand

Part Three: Tin Can Alley

What do I have to lose

Possibly everything

In these tin cans are the uncollected remains of mental patients at the Oregon state mental hospital these people either had no family, outlived their family, or their family disowned them. This is the place for forgotten tormented souls. This photo makes me cry every time I look at it.

A different flavour of me in every can

 

A song for a little birdy

Missy & Mozart – requiem in D Minor. The story of unfinished symphony

The requiem mass in D Minor by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was composed in Vienna in 1791 and left unfinished at the composer’s death

Count Franz von Walsegg had anonymously commissioned the piece for a requiem mass to commemorate the anniversary of his wife’s death

Mozart spoke of ‘very strange thoughts’ regarding the unpredicted appearance & commission of this unknown man

Mozart fell ill while writing the work. He told his wife… my end will not be long in coming. I cannot rid my mind of this thought.

He said believed he was writing this piece for his own funeral

The only place where the word ‘amen’ occurs in anything that Mozart wrote in the last years of his live is in this piece of music.

I hope this projekt is not unfinished at the time of my death

That would kill me.

 The end is just black. There is nothing. I’ve been there before

These are the thoughts in my head

They eat my brain like guinea worms

I need them out and I need to record them

To get over my past first I have to accept my past existed

No matter how many times I deny it, hide from it, recoil from it, or am embarrassed by it – it happened.

But I fear its retelling and that I may slip into denial as a defence

We’ll see. Won’t we just

Someday I will find what I am looking for

Or maybe I won’t

Maybe I’ll find something better

I’m not there yet

But I’m closer than I was yesterday

I think

Maybe

I’m

Just

So

Happy Happy

Joy Joy

Aren’t

I

My brain has too many tabs open

 “Better never to begin. Having begun, better to finish” — Zen saying

Wish I’d known that before I started

Missy, live your life and fear no hand other than your own, beat your own hand and you have it licked. Peace out – edge

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Categories: Sex

No comments yet.

Talk to me baby

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s